Allow me to bestow upon you some of my personal history. None of you know this because I’ve yet to tell you but when I was in college I was once a member of the Asian club. “GachiYellow, what’s so special about that?” Well it just so happens I was the only Black person in the club. This led to some interesting questions. “GachiYellow, what do you do in the Asian club?” I do whatever Asians do of course! “GachiYellow, why are you in the Asian club? You’re not Asian.” I am because I want to be? Listen I’m like a chocolate covered cake. I’m black on the outside and yellow on the inside. (no relation to my favorite color being yellow) All the music I listen to is Japanese. I mostly watch anime in my spare time and all my favorite video games are from Japan. If I’m not an Otaku i don’t know what one is.
I guess I get these types of questions because of how I look. It takes most people by surprise. Most people figure because I am tall, beautiful, and athletic looking I would like/play sports or listen to gangster rap music or chase white woman or eat fried chicken and watermelon or do whatever it is black people supposedly do.
Sorry sucka’s I don’t match your stereotype. Getting back to the matter at hand; being in the Asian club was freaking epic! Case in point what I’m about to explain was an average day of extracurricular activities. This particular meeting we decided to go do some karaoke. Ok, here’s the break down, the people who decided to go were me, the only Black person, three White people (Two guys and a girl. Oh yea they don’t get questions like why they’re in the Asian club. What the heck?) two Korean guys, a Vietnamese girl, a Chinese girl, an Asian guy who’s ethnicity i do not know, and an Asian girl who’s ethnicity I do not know.
That night we went to the teachers house who runs the Asian club. The entire club was there if I remember correctly, not just the ones listed above who were going to go Karaoke afterwards. There was a ton of food. Oh my goodness it was so good. I ate, met a lot of people, had fun ect. All I can say is it was epic.
Now, done eating. The group I listed above decides to head out. I don’t know how to get to the place so I decide to ride with someone else. Before I continue with the story let me say this. I love Asian people. When I get married I plan to marry an Asian woman, preferentially of whom is of Japanese decent — but when I do I’ll always be the one driving. Oh my goodness Words can not explain this accurately. During this adventure I rode with the Chinese female listed above, who was the driver, and a few other people. This was one of the scariest moments in a car of my life. Before entering this vehicle of doom I thought I was going to be ok. She was driving a (very nice looking) minivan. It must be safe. Silly me. I don’t know what kind of minivan that was but it had to have had nitro build into it. From the stoplight to the turning lane we went from zero to seventy and what seemed like under four seconds. That’s not all. She turned…. going seventy. This was the beginning of our trip. It was literally almost the first thing she did. Now, I’m in the back seat praying. “PLEASE GOD LET ME LIVE. PLEASE GOD LET ME LIVE. PLEASE GOD LET ME LIVE. JESUS SAVE ME!” I look around and all Asians present look like its just another day in Gotham. Well they may or may not have felt safe but I surely didn’t.
To my surprise we arrive *safely* at our destination. Our first stop was a Korean Karaoke bar. Now get this. Upon arriving we come to find out our warp drive minivan left one of the Asian guys following us. (the one who’s ethnicity I didn’t know) This wouldn’t have been surprising considering how fast we were going except for one tiny winy detail. The guy who was following us was driving a BMW M3! That’s right, our Chinese driver left that car in the dust. Well Mr. M3 calls us to tell us he’s lost in traffic. Everyone tried to explain to him how to get to the Karaoke bar but in the end he gave up and went home. Well, I’m glad I didn’t ride with him.
Moving right along we go inside to get our booth — during which time the Asian guy at the counter mistakes one of the white dudes for a Korean. He walks up and starts speaking Korean to him. The look on this white dudes face was priceless. Upon realizing he was white the Asian dude starts speaking in English. He said I seen your hat and figured you were Korean. At this point every one is laughing.
While waiting I look around a bit. I discover two Asian men one on each side of this particular entrance. Random question. Have you guys ever sensed someones power level before? I’m not talking anime I’m talking real life here. Well I did here for the very first time. Nobody had to tell me that these two gentlemen were the bouncers. Now, I’m bigger and more muscular than these two gentlemen by a sizable amount. That’s being said I’m not a bad person but *if* I was there’s no way I’d mess with either one of those guys. You couldn’t even pay me to do it. That’s just how bad to the bone these two were. Now, I wasn’t the only one noticing them. I was just the first one to notice them.
Other people in my group: “Are those guys the bouncers?”
Me: “I think so, but I’m not about to find out.”
Finally we are given our booth. We go into it. We sit down. I pick up the song booklet. At this very moment I’m hit by a realization. I don’t understand Korean. (good job Sherlock) I only understand a small amount of Japanese. What ever shall I do? Wait! My favorite singer, BoA Kwon, is Korean! I just so happen to listen to her Japanese songs. At least I will know someone in this book. I look, and look, and look. Ahh fiddlesticks. BoA’s not in here. Yep, I’m screwed. Of course when everyone ask who wants to go first I play it smooth. I say something of the effect of “Whoever wants to go first can go. I’m fine with whatever happens.” Score! I get to dodge that bullet and seem like a nice guy at the same time. Oh yea I’m good. Unsurprisingly, the two Korean dudes go first. For their Karaoke, they rapped a Korean rap. This was by far the most epic song I have ever heard someone sing in real life. (music CD’s, DVD’s and other media not included of course) I was literally blown away. Everyone in the booth was going crazy. It was intense. They finish their song and everyone is applauding them. Then suddenly blowback happens. We all suddenly realize one of us has to follow that class act. Dead silence. Nearing panic mode, to the rooms relief, the Chinese girl decides to go next. Wait, does she know Korean? Nope, apparently there’s a section of Chinese songs. Now what kind of miscarriage of Justice is this? I look though the book again. There’s Korean and Chinese but no Japanese songs? Racism I tell ya, racism! Joking aside, this girl is also a good singer. Moreover she sang an actual song, a slow song, and very well at that. She didn’t kill it like the two Korean guys but I could tell just by looking around that no one else was going to come anywhere near that level of performance.
Did these three individuals not get the memo? The point of Karaoke is to sing badly or so I thought. She finishes. Everyone claps. I’m thinking to myself “someone has to be the ice breaker. This wont end well if no one does it.” Then the dreaded question beckoned us. “Who wants to go next?” Sensing the danger I quickly open the booklet again. I frantically look for anything, anything at all I could “preform.” Then seemly there was like a light that shined down from heaven on to the page before me. Aqua – Barbie girl! YES! I actually know the lyrics to this song! (No, I’m not ashamed) Moreover I actually like that song, a lot. I am so singing this. I get up. I didn’t tell anyone what I was about to sing. Everyone was shocked. I bet they were thinking. “OMG HE KNOWS KOREAN!?” Then the music plays. Instantly everyone is on the floor. I’m singing both the male and female parts to this song while actually trying to sound like a girl during the female parts. The reactions were priceless. Then to my surprise something unexpected happened. The Chinese girl grabbed the other mic and started singing with me. Everyone was really going nuts now. There was so much energy in the room. It was amazing. Needless to say that song ended with a applause as well. I not only broke the ice I shattered it into a million pieces. Raising morale over 5,000% no one was ashamed to sing anymore. After all no one could “preform” that badly.
Ah yes all in a days work. Everyone else had a turn. Some people went more than once. I at least sung two songs. After the fun and festivities we decide to head out. To be continued.