I am the most anti-social person I have ever met. Mostly in my free time I just play video games, watch anime, and learn Japanese. I don’t drink. I don’t smoke. I don’t go to clubs. I cant dance. Probably the most important thing — I don’t like people touching me. I mean anyone. I really, really, REALLY can’t stand people touching me. As you can see there is no way I can coexist with people at a party. At this point I have more in common with anime characters than real people. All that being said, it is probably not surprising when I say I’ve never, until recently, been to a party, before
Although I have what some may call, a lot of negative qualities, throughout my life I somehow managed to avoid being labeled a nerd, geek, dork, ect. I have my own personal theory on why I wasn’t labeled any of those things. I was always tall and pretty muscular. I was big enough that people didn’t mess with me and decent looking enough to talk to beautiful women without immediately getting the cold shoulder. Also I think that I was so strange it was funny. Example: sometimes people would ask me “if you could own any vehicle what would you own?” My reply? “A garbage truck full of speakers in the back.” People are just not ready for responses like that.
How exactly does a person like me get invited to a party? Due to my anti-sociability I didn’t get invited for the longest time. Most of the time, when I have free time, I’m doing what I like to do most; that being play video games. Then something changed. I FINALLY joined some social media sites. I joined them for all the wrong reasons though. Reason 1 – to potentially make money. 2 – to stop people from asking “GachiYellow, are you on X site?” 3 – to troll; because now that I am on said sites I have nothing to do.
Ok, so I join social sites. I make friends. Then, eventually, I start getting flooded with party invites. No joke, I denied at least 50 at first. Then one day I was hit by an epiphany. I think I know what happens at parties but I have never been to one so I don’t know if my assumptions are in fact factual. In that very second, I decide to go to a party if I get invited again. I would go on the basis of scientific research. I would make observations to verify or negate my hypothesis.
Not to long after that, guess what, I get an invite. I go. I don’t think I can accurately describe what happens next. In less than five minuets I felt a level of disgust I have never felt in my life. I’m in the corner as far away from the “action” as possible trying to avoid being touched. Remember I don’t like being touched. I look upon these people. They are all drunk out of their minds. There was a lot of shouting that didn’t make sense. There was (drunken) dancing which I couldn’t really enjoy, and last but not least THERE WAS PEOPLE TOUCHING ME! Oh heck no. Only an elite few are allowed to touch me. I realize it is my fault I am in this situation so I try to be as nice and friendly as possible but still it sucked.
Seeing all this play out as the only sober person in the room I felt kind of bad for every one to be honest. I did not see anything remotely fun going on. That’s not the end of the story. It gets worse. I’m there for two hours praying this party end. Then in the last fifteen minuets a girl I know, that probably likes me, walks in.
NO! I don’t want to be seen! I should not have been here in the first place. In no way can this possibly turn out good. I try to hide. Why do I like wearing yellow!? I’m to tall to hide. She spots me. Crap…. What do I do? I’m anti-social. I don’t know how to talk to women especially at a party. I have nothing to talk about. I have got to get out of here.
What happens next is one of the most awkward conversations I have had in my life. This girl is pretty hot in my opinion, but for personal reasons, which I will not delve into, I don’t date and don’t plan to date anyone for a while.
This conversation is paraphrased to hide identities. For this conversation, lets just call her Girl A.
Girl A: Hey why are you here?
Me: I was invited. I cant really leave because of that.
Girl A: Oh…
(long awkward pause)
Me: So how was your day?
Girl A: Oh it was good. [she explains her day]
Girl A: So how was yours?
Me: It was cool [I explain what I did]
(another long awkward pause)
She walks off to go get a drink
I go back to hiding in my corner
She comes back. [DANG IT!]
I try to hide my look of disgust. (due to her drinking)
Girl A: [speaking again] It’s not a party without beer huh?
Me: I’m sorry I don’t drink
(ANOTHER LONG AWKWARD PAUSE)
At this point I think she is mad. I probably killed her buzz. Then she walks off. Now, I’m not to sure what happened next because she went across the room — but I do know she started talking to another guy. After about two minuets it looks like she kisses him. I cant really tell that happen because during this time a drunk Asian dude came up and started talking to me about RPG’s. The RPG conversation lasts for a while because well, like I said I like video games.
After our conversation on RPG’s end I turn around and Girl A is gone. Come to find out later from one of my friends Girl A just went dancing after that. He was there as well. Shortly after that tragedy the party ended. I was finally able to escape.
So yea, epic fail me. I have zero experience with women. I don’t know what she expected me to do by (what appears to be) kissing another guy but I do know she wanted me to see it. From my point of view she is just a good looking woman who I don’t date. I cant control what she does.
A day or two later I thought about apologizing because of the awkward situation but I cant justify doing so because what she does is none of my business.
Party experiment: FAILURE. Note to self: Never go again.